This Just In...

March 16th, 2026

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I am officially done with nursing school!! Today was my last day of clinical ever. Up next is my NCLEX exam and I will be Kim Rudness, RN. That is absolutely insane.

It's been awhile since I've posted. That seems to be a running theme. Other than school and work, life has been a little.. well.. boring. It's been very much school, work, sleep, repeat. This semester I had one online class (which I finished everything back in early February) and my very last clinical. This clinical rotation it's you and a preceptor. You put in requests for your location and based on availability, grades, and location - you get a site you're hoping to get more information on before graduation. A lot of people in my class did their rotations at their jobs (so they get paid.. lucky ducks), but I asked for 1.) pediatrics 2.)labor and delivery or 3.) NICU. I was also really interested in checking out oncology, hospice, and the OR. We had a rotation in labor and delivery (and I loved every single second of it), but we never had NICU or Peds. I did shadow in L&D and the OR last month and I really enjoyed them both. We also did a day rotation on hospice - with Greyson's hospice! But it was a presentation on their company and not really any hands on experience. The more I think about it though, my heart isn't ready for hospice. I am an empath and my heart isn't ready for handling more grief than it still is.

I never updated the blog once I found out my placement. It's been a little bit of a whirlwind. We have 4 weeks to do 90 clinical hours. Which seems ok, but when you work at a bank it's a little harder to work around the hours the branch is open! BUT I was SO lucky and was given my first choice of peds! We have one PICU (pediatric intensive care unit) here in Green Bay and that is at St. Vincent's Hospital. This is where Greyson was when he had pneumonia, just prior to his passing. They were so wonderful with him (and us!) and I assumed I would be on the same floor. I was wrong - and I'm SO thankful I was. I was on the Pediatric Hematology and Oncology Unit, which is a clinic within the hospital, but it runs like an outpatient clinic. They see children facing different cancers, blood disorders, complete iron infusions, blood transfusions, and they have rooms for visits with the doctor, treatments, and two procedure rooms right on their floor. My 90 hours flew by and it was the best experience. Every single nurse on that floor made me feel welcome and wanted... which, sadly, is so different from a lot of our other clinicals. I learned so much that I would have never learned from a class or other clinical sites. Every single nurse allowed me to learn from them and allowed me to actually preform skills while I was on the floor. I could not have asked for a better experience.

Pediatrics made me nervous.. I love kids, but having such a complex special needs son with all his medical treatments and medications, I was nervous it would bring up some emotions for me and I wanted to make sure I could handle it professionally. My first day there I was able to watch a deep sedation with a lumbar puncture. They complete that right in one of the procedure rooms on the clinic floor. I was able to watch them administer intrathecal chemotherapy (which, if I am honest, never heard of prior to my first day!) but it's where they use the lumbar puncture and deliver chemo directly into the cerebral spinal fluid. This is typically done when doctors want the chemo to bypass the blood-brain barrier when cancer has a high chance of spreading to the CSF (if it hasn't already.) Certain cancers have a higher risk of this, but it was such an amazing experience. That was just day 1. I was able to see so many other amazing things and meet some amazing kids! I was able to place IVs and complete blood draws and became so much more comfortable in myself as a nurse. The first time I felt like a nurse at a clinical site, rather than "just a student".

So, up next- the NCLEX. I am registered with the site and I am just waiting for the approval to take the exam. After that, I will be officially a Registered Nurse.

I can't believe how far I've come. I remember my first classes of nursing school and feeling the weight of grief so heavily still that I was unsure I'd ever get to this point. There has been tears along the way, but I know, deep down in my soul and my mama heart, Greyson wants me to be a nurse. This is how we are going to change the world and share his story. I'm meant to help other families and I just feel like I'm meant to work with families/kids. I don't know if I'll get my dream position as quickly as I hope I will, but I just know it will happen. I am really hoping that I will get the opportunity to work in this department. It made me feel like I was actually doing something that I was meant to be doing. I looked FORWARD to going to clinical and I loved being on the floor. The staff (the nurses, but also the doctors, and child life specialists!) were absolutely amazing and I'm hoping that it will work out and I can join their team. My teacher even made comments when grading my paperwork how she thought I was meant to be there!

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April 13th, 2026

In true grief fashion, I got distracted before finishing and posting that blog. I am now up to my eyeballs in studying for the NCLEX. I have it scheduled for the end of this month and the day seems like it's coming up so much faster than I am prepared for. Some of my classmates have already taken the exam and have given me some wonderful study tips and support as I prepare. It's just so much information to try and retain. You don't need to be perfect on the NCLEX by any means, but my test anxiety is always so high but add on the fact I had to PAY to take this exam and it means my future licenses to be an RN.. no pressure, hey? I've been putting in a few hours of study almost every day since I signed up for the actual date. I'm utilizing a lot of resources and just trying to focus each time I sit at my desk to study.

Last night, I did take a break to catch up on The Pitt - our new obsession. Adam and I both love the show and we've missed the past 4 weeks of it because of our crazy schedules. Adam has been working early shifts at his hospital so he's been going to bed early. Between working, clinical, and now studying for my licensing exam, my brain is fried. I've been having some pretty bad stress dreams so I try to read a book prior to falling asleep just so my mind can take a break from medications, delegations, disease processes.. you know, all the things that just give you so much comfort before bed (*eyeroll*)

(also, just need a minute to appreciate Noah Wyle in this show.. my goodness.)

Life lately has been more of the same. I did however have an adventure to visit my best girlfriends a few weeks ago. One of my girlfriends lives in Iowa, so we all took an extended weekend and drove there to spend time together. These girls have been with me for every major milestone and I am so thankful for each of them. We celebrated Laura and how amazingly strong she is, Ashley's birthday, and our friendship that has survived everything you can imagine. These girls are truly one in a million and I'm so thankful I have them alongside me in this life. Steffani picked me up on her way down and I rode with her. We got there in time for dinner on Thursday and spend the evening just talking and spending time with each other and Laura's family. Friday we woke up and rented a Pickle Ball court and all played - most of us for the first time!

The girls (missing Shannon and Ashley in this one!) at a winery after a nice dinner out!

Laura's sweet kiddos helping Ashley with her birthday bundtinis!

Laura's mini-me with her new pink hair tinsel we amazon primed to her house for the weekend :)

When I got home from my amazing weekend with my girls- came home to this amazing watercolor painting a friend did for me. She is SO talented!! It's even more stunning in person. I also had this sweet card from a childhood friend's Mom - Amy Rovin - for graduating nursing school and a giftcard for new scrubs.

I also had lunch with my sisters and niece yesterday at my parents condo

The fog on the river was a really pretty backdrop!

It's been so long since I've posted.. I forgot to update that Adam and I were invited to speak to new graduate doctors at University of Madison in reference to our experience with their complex care team with Greyson. We were able to share how much they helped us once we were finally able to enroll with them, what we liked, what we didn't, and share more about our son with other people. It really meant a lot to be asked but also to help the future of medicine realize that rare IS real and it affects people all over the world. I think people forget that other people have experiences that you would never guess by looking at them, but we are proof of that. Adam and I were able to talk about Grey and how he changed our lives for the better, just by being his parents.

One of the comments from my teacher this past clinical- her words meant so much!

Another :)

... and my final grades of nursing school!

I had a gut feeling that Greyson wanted me to use my new voice to be a nurse and he wanted me to help other children and families who were like ours. Medically complex, facing the unknown, trying to balance it all.. all while loving on our child for whatever time you have with them. This clinical rotation felt like I was where I needed to be. It felt right and I felt such a connection with the patients, their families, and the staff. I definitely shed a few tears of sadness, but also of feeling fulfilled. I haven't felt like that at "a job" ever before.. and it was really impactful to feel it as I finished my RN. I am really proud of myself and I know Greyson is too. The empathy I have for these medical families is something only a few people can bring with them to work, because I lived it. I am a medical Mom and now I'm a medical Mom and a nurse. Just need to pass that NCLEX and it will be official.

The other news, which isn't super great right now, is we are still working towards IVF. Our first round was pushed back a few months because the doctor we are going through in Green Bay just opened a new clinic and there was a delay in getting everything set up in time. Our case is also complicated with the Tay-Sachs component. I'm hoping the next date we were told will go smoothly because I am trying really hard to hold on to the hope of having another child, but I also just feel scared it won't happen. It feels like we keep running into issues and things get pushed back, then something else comes up and it gets pushed back. I know, I know, be patient. But I'm running out of patience. I'm trying hard to not be frustrated, but I am. I've been channeling my anger out at the gym and studying for the NCLEX but it would be really great if the anxiety and worry could just calm down too. I hate feeling this way but it's just hard when you have your hopes up just to keep getting things changed, moved around, and cancelled all together. I don't believe in "everything happens for a reason" because of what we went through with Grey, or that "all in god's timing" .. well, because the same reason. Learning to relax is not my strength :) but I'm working on it.

xoxo,

Kim